i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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