You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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