wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize