i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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