insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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