no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Four minutes until I can fart!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
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Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
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The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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