Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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