I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize