as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
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when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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