So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
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John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
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I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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