I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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