I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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