If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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