I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize