did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize