ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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