Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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