Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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