I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
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i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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