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actually, I'm a sock model
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
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