your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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