i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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