im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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