Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
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I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize