just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize