I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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