bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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