Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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