why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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