you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
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That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
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This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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