I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
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