I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize