we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Drunk is a universal language darling
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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