I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
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Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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