Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
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He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize