i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
it's like heaven, but drunker
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
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Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
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i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
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