would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize