So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
this just has baby written all over it
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
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i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
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$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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