He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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