Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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