wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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