i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize