"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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