She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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