if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
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