like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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