she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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