In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize