Don't you send me to vm
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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