You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
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HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
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I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
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